Classical chuckle

Stephen Spielberg is casting for a new film based around the great composers. Anyway to give the film a twist and some "oomph" he decides to cast the parts to the great action heroes of today.
He calls Stallone, Arnie, Bruce Willis and Seagal into his office to hear who they would like to play.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."

"Chopin has always been my favourite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano" said Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Segal. "I'd like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid."

Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"

So Arnold says ...

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"I'll be Bach."

 

Groan, reminds me of the cat who books 3 cinema tickets on line but when he and his pals turn up at the box office they're refused entry.

"Ma'am please, you can call the CEO of the cinema group if you like, we have a personal invitation to attend". Unconvinced she won't let them in.

"But ma'am, the film we're seeing, we wrote the musical score for it". Still unconvinced she finally says "go on then, tell me who you are, I'll have never heard of you".

"Well" says the cat "he's Bach, he's Offenbach and I'm debussy"

 

Man, this is really a thread for specialists, and especially specialists in a certain sort of English.
I understood the first post in that way, that Schwarzenegger wants to be Bach, because Bach knocks out all other composers (in a figurative sense), but the second post is senseless to me. So please explain.

 

Schwarzenegger wants to be Bach, because Bach was often seen riding his motorcycle, just as Arnold. Of course it had no motor - horsecycles (Stutenrad), as they were called, were basically bicycles without pedals. They were drawn by horse.

 

If this is the intended explanation, which I doubt, it is too absurd for me. My sense of humor has got a natural limit. Points must make sense to be funny.
What about the other post?
And isn´t this a thread for the chatroom?

 

Schwarzenegger's most famous character, the Cyborg in the Terminator movies, has a catchphrase - "I'll be back". That's the joke. Which is well and truly dead now.

 

Is Arnold always Bach because, in his films, he isn't Beethoven?

 

Well, I enjoyed the joke, and Bats interesting interpretation! Ignore the critics.