Damn Few And They're A' Deid!

The average Englishmen in the home he calls his castle, slips into his the national costume - a shaby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

En route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Vetinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.

At the office he recieves mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexhander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.

At home in the evening his Daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.


He watches the news on TV, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find the first man named in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised its translation.

He could take to drink, but the Scots make the best in the World.

He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with Penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.

Out of the anaesthetic, he would find no comfort in learning that he was "as safe as the Bank of England", founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a tranfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask....

"WHA'S LIKE US?"

 

MO

Sorry to say this, but 90% of Scotland is owned by the English.

So who is the smartest.

Regards

Mick

 

Hi Mo,

Interesting stuff.

The real inventor of the telephone wasn't Bell but Antonio Meucci. Bell was said to have invented it in 1874 but Meucci had them working in1850 to 1862. Mr Meucci was from Italy & had emigrated to the States.

All Bell did was borrow other people ideas & took patents out on them. Mr Meucci was to poor too do this. Also Bell "borrowed" the work of Philip Reis as well.

http://www.popular-science.net/history/meucci_bell.html

http://www.popular-science.net/history/meucci_congress_resolution.html


http://www.trp.hku.hk/papers/2002/meucci.pdf

http://www.ilt.columbia.edu/projects/bluetelephone/html/part9.html


SCIDB

 

Theres a common mith in history tha hadriens wall was built by the romans to keep the scotish out,this is absoulote rubbish.It was actual built by wee shuggie and his pal tam to keep the sasanacs off ther golf course

 

Re: MO

Ah yes, but who's got all the oil?

Tom
who's moving to Crieff in to weeks. Wa hey

 

Re: Re: MO

George Bush

 

Q: Which is the biggest County in England ?


A: Scotland !

 

Tom

England owns the oil and water industries in Scotland.

Sorry this is just an economic fact.

The largest financial sector in Scotland is Insurance and even the equity of that is owned by the English.

To add insult to injury, you are going up there and buying a house.

Regards

Mick

 

Where he will get a lot more 'substance' for his money.

 

(a) Raincoats. Mackintosh-type raincoats (rubber deposited on canvas) are long gone, thank goodness. They used to wonder why the girls who made them went (literally) mad and sometimes jump out of windows several storeys up. It's because the solvent for the rubber was benzene.Never breathe benzene.

(b) Tyres. John Boyd Dunlop did his work and made his invention while working as a vet in Belfast.

(c) TV John Logie Baird may have been the first, but there wasy already competition hot on his heels and the all-electronic EMI system superceded Baird's relatively crude system.

(d) Nobody can claim to have invented the bicycle as we know it - it is the end-product of much development, going back to that celebrated Scotsman Leonardo da Vinci. The first bicycle with a "diamond" frame was the Rover Safety of 1884, developed in That Other Midlands.

I would never take it awa' from my fellow Celts, but they didn't always get it right. Moreover, they negated all the good they ever did by committing a major wrong - they taught the Brazilians to play football!

 

And the Scottish MPs voted to support Blair in his bill to have foundation hospitals in ENGLAND (ie NOT Scotland) - without this Scottish support Blair would have lost.

Scottish MPs voting on English issues is just plain wrong!

Scottish land for Scottish people is good, but lets see if the Scottish people could survive without English money.

The Scots and the Welsh hate the English - so we should let them 'go it alone' 'cos Im pissed off at my taxes paying for these bigoted people.

Och aye Jimmy//lamboy

 

Most of the oil fields in the north sea which GB relies on so heavily to suppliment the economy are around Scotland.

Maybe they are sick of north sea oil revenues subsidising England.

How would we English/Welsh/ N Irish survive without Scottish oil and mineral deposits?

I also believe the Scottish people are owed an apology from the British government for being singled out for the ''trial'' of the poll tax.

NB
Im not scottish, I just lived in Edinburgh for a couple of years, and Ive heard both sides of the arguement.

Chris

 

back in my early 20's i shared a house with a number of scots and have worked with a number of others. never have i met people with a bigger chip on their shoulders about the indignities the past thrust on them, all they'd do of an evening was whinge about the english and smoke gear. perhaps if they'd broken the national character in the 1500's or whenever and actually mounted a decent defence of their country rather than painting themselves blue, wearing a skirt, waving their arses at everyone and moaning to each other about the english they may not be the bunch of whinging gits they are now. of course they were all in england working for english companies, taking the english sheckel - hypocrites too.
one of the finer moments in my life was watching the england / germany game with a bunch of mates, one a particularly poisonous variety of nationalistic scat. the amount of crowing he did when germany (the team he was supporting - anyone but england) scored was a thing to behold, pelvic thrusts the lot. the subsequent 5 english goals were rubbed in his face like he was a puppy being house trained, joy personified.
cheers


julian

 

Are their any Scottish companies that could have drilled for themselves? I honestly dont know.

How about the government (Scottish government) biuldings being built in Glasgow? - I understand that they are costing the Bristish Government over 400 million squid!!!! Thats up from the original quote of less than 10 million (I dont have the figures to hand). - thats good old english tax paying for that.

If the Scots didnt constantly whinge I may not be so pissed off - but asking a scot to stop whinging is tantamount to pissing in the wind.

For the record my father-in-law is a scot living in england - and he is 10 times worse for being anti scot! He is ashamed of the Scottish at the moment.

 

Considering the historical abuse by the English monied classes against the working classes of the all the countries of the Union I feel there is real cause to complain. By abuse I mean little things such as my Welsh in laws being made to stand with Dunces caps on for speaking Welsh in the classroom, the wholesale removal of people from their land because those who held it trust for them wanted it to play on, transportation, clearances. The problem is that the political & economic injustices inflicted on the working classes have largely been forgotten in England where as in in Wales, Scotland & Ireland they have been woven into the very fabric of a national identityand then romanticised to a point that much of the original source of grievance has been forgotton. In Scotland it was the evil English who were responsible for the clearnaces and the fact that much of that was done by the Scots to their own isn't remembered.

So there is a problem with a perceived self identity based on false romantic image (partly engendered by Queen Victoria, English of German descent) which is exascerbated by the denial of the English for any responsibility for the abuse committed by their Lords and masters.

Probably it's time to move on and in the main Scotland is doing so (unlike the Welsh) but everyone needs someone to complain about.

 

Cant we all compain about the French? (I doubt a scotsman would ever do that!)

 

The French are fair game to the English but don't forget the Auld Alliance

"What have Romans ever done for us?"

 

The "auld alliance" was a loose serious of agreements that finished in the 1500s. If you're still going by that, then your against the French Republic as you're still in thrall of the mediavel absoulte monachy of the then French regime.

 

England owns the oil and water industries in Scotland.

Sorry this is just an economic fact.

The largest financial sector in Scotland is Insurance and even the equity of that is owned by the English.

To add insult to injury, you are going up there and buying a house.

Regards

 

crikey, people ar reading posts from 2004, and replying to them! must be a slow day.