Ethics of accepting a gift? HELP!

As many of you know, I recently bought my first house, took on mortgage, etc.

You all know the financial implications of such a move. With a lot of help from my overly generous (but well-paid and comfortably off) parents, I don't have any particular financial worries at this time.

However, my great-uncle (my only remaining relative of that generation, and one of whom I am quite fond) has sent me a cheque for £100 as a gift toward setting up home. He is very elderly (over 80), not in wonderful health (he was a heavy smoker for many years) and is rather frail. I don't know how well-off he is (he has a very nice house in very expensive camberley, but I believe it was all paid for many years ago. I don't know how he is in terms of liquid assets).

What should I do?

1) Gratefully accept the gift, and put it toward something tangible on the house.
2) Gratefully accept the gift, but not cash the cheque.
3) Not accept the gift.

I'm very disinclined to do 3. It would just be rude. I am considering 2, however, because I don't feel that I need the money and think that it might be over-generous on his part. Or should I just accept that a man who was an accountant for a big firm for many years can manage his money and make the best use possible of it?

 

Not sure, it depends, my grandad is 79 he is suffering from cancer but hopefully its still curable, he is quite frail but is driving again now and is going to the pub again, however he has one of the sharpest minds I know, he recently gave my parents some money £40, but we took it becuase he said they could afford it and we've done so much for him he would be offended if we didn't take it.

His mind is as sharp as a 20 year olds though, he is 100% totaly aware of everything so he wouldn't do anything if he thought he couldn't afford it.

Some times with old people its only their physical appearence and well being thats, different, inside they are still 20.

If his mind is still sharp he will notice the money hasn't been paid in and may be offended, so either way it seems you can't win. I think you should take it and buy somthing usefull with it, i.e keep it away from Russ Andrews

if your great uncle has dementia of any kind then that does but a different slant on it.

Sorry for this 95% woffle reply

My dads parents who are both in their mid 80's often give him and me and my sister a ltitel bit of money say £10, but their minds are still with it and we know they can afford it so I guess its a different issue.

 

isaac,
if the guy is still sharp then he'll notice that you've not cashed the cheque and you'll be in the same boat as #3.
i say go with #1 and send him a pic of the item in situ and a nice thankyou. to be honest this will probably be worth more to him that the 100 quid.
cheers


julian

 

He is still very sharp, and he was an accountant so I think the second option wouldn't go unnoticed. I am coming around to thinking that 1) is the right thing to do... I should probably check with my parents though.

 

Hi,

Go for number one. If you are still worried about it, give him a "Christmas gift" this festive season.

SCIDB

 

tbh I would go for option one for the sake of being polite. just remember to get him a pint next time to meet him.

 

Cash the cheque and send me the money.

-- Ian

 

I would say gracefully accept the cheque, he's not going to send the money if he's not got it, £100 pound could buy a significant gift, and is a nice round figure, he's not sending the gift to show off, he's probably fond of you too, buy something tangible, like a small antique, or a nice piece of art, something that will remind you of him, then invite him over for a slap up meal and a bottle of wine, he'd most likely enjoy that.

 

Take the money and say 'Thank You'. You know it makes sense!

 

Indeed. Check with your parents, and then cash it, send him a grateful letter and a picture of what you've bought. I'm sure he'll be grateful for the response.

 

Something sensible and old-fashioned though - he might be a bit peeved if he sees you've spent it on buffy dvds!

DT

 

Accept the gift graciously and make sure you show him how much you appreciate it.

 

No ethics at all, I would say, just courtesy and doing the right thing by and not hurting the feelings of someone who wants to do something for you. If people want to give, accept it graciously, it will make them feel good. Definitely 1.

 

We tend not to bring up Isaac's Buffy addiction here, DT - it's a bit of a sensitive issue