THE DIARY OF AN ENGLISH MAN LIVING IN ABERDEENSHIRE - includes bad language tho...

> THE DIARY OF AN ENGLISH MAN LIVING IN ABERDEENSHIRE
>
> "OUR FIRST WINTER"
>
> DEC 20TH
> It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've
seen
> for years the wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch
> watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the
> trees and
covering
> the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
>
>
> DEC 24th
> We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering
> as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and
bush
> covered with
> a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever and
> loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement.
>
> Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our
> driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and
> waved.
>
&g! t; I waved back and shovelled it away again. The children next door built
a
> snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball
> fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple
> back and joined in their fun.
>
>
> DEC 26th
> It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature
dropped
> to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes
> snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again.

> Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again.
> Much of the snow is now a
> brownish - grey.
>
> JAN 1st
> Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became
> ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our

> cars.
>
> Fell on my a*se in the driveway. Went to a physio but nothing was
> broken.
>
&g! t; JAN 5th
> Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to
work.
>
>
> She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing.
Had
> another 8 inches of white sh*te last night. Both vehicles are covered
in
> salt and iced
> up slush that b*stard snowplough came by twice today. Where's that
> bloody shovel.
>
>
> JAN 9th
> More f***ing snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been
> damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing
to
> death with
> candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly torched the
> house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd Degree burns
on
> my hands.
> Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit a f***ing deer on the way
> to casualty and was written off.
>
>
> JAN 13th
> F***ing b*stard white shite ju! st keeps on coming down. Have to put on
> every article of clothing just to go to the post box the little sh*ts
> next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that

> carrot so far up the little pricks a*se it'll take a good surgeon
> hours to find it. If I ever catch the
> a*sehole that drives the snowplough I'll chew open his chest and rip
out
> his heart with my teeth. I think the b*stard hides around the corner
and
> waits for
> me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down the street like
> Michael "f*cking" Schumacher and buries the f*cking driveway again.
>
>
> JAN 17th
> 16 more sodding inches of f***ing snow and f***ing ice and f***ing
sleet
> and god knows what other white f***ing sh*te fell last night. Both
cars
> have
> been written off. I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting the
> snowplough driver with an ! ice-pick. Can't move my f***ing toes.
Haven't
> seen the sun for
> 5 weeks. Minus 20 and more f**king snow forecast.
>
>
> * * * * THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON

 

This largely describes the experience of any southerner in the north.

 

Do you count yourself as a southerner Isaac?
I thought you were coping quite well

 

I;ve only seen three days of snow so far in the last year. Also the coldest its got is about 3-4 degrees. I have seen far too much bloody rain though it never stops these days.

 

A southerner I suspect I always will be to northerners, and southerners are already rejecting me as a southerner, so in some sort of limbo state... However, I've already become rather attached to the terrain (and hence my reluctance to move out of the saddleworth/peak district NP area).

Snow is a more frequent occurance, although I've only had to "dig" the car out once. Not actually had any problems due to it.

Stuff is cheaper up here (like sandwiches, cooked food, etc). That's good.

 

And people are friendlier too.

 

Steady on Lamboy.... I still work in Oldham!

 

I noticed that you only count as a local if you were born in the town. Some of our friends come from 40 miles away and have lived here for 30+ years. Still considered outsiders. Nothing malicious, just a matter of identity. Mind you 20% of the town is English, another 60% come outwith, leaving a small minority of locals.

As for snow. Is that the white stuff on the hills?

 

has stuff been deleted from this thread?

my well known yorkshire ditty has gone!

bugger.

 

..........

Posted on the other thread Musing on the English language