tones
compulsive cantater
Borrowed from another website:
Recent news of the US erection has shown that the USA is not one country but two, a sensible, normal, rational one and one consisting of rednecks, Holy Rollers, halfwits and people motivated entirely by greed (people may of course belong in more than one of those categories). The solution is clear - secession. Now the seceding parts of the former USA have the slight problem of there being several thousand miles of raving nutcases and assorted yokels between them. However, it has been done before. Pakistan was once two bits, with a big slab of India in between. This was done at the insistence of Mohammed Ali Jinnah, who wanted no part of an independent India, as desired by the British and Gandhi. It didn't last (East Pakistan is now Bangladesh).
However, the two civilised parts of the former USA have one thing that Pakistan didn't have - a common border with a civilised country to the north. Therefore, I propose to you, the Federal Republic of Yewestan, combining the east and west coasts of the Disunited States of America. Yewestan would conclude treaties with Canada, which would allow east-west communication, to the mutual benefit of both. Yewestan would have dual capitals in New York and Los Angeles, and would have an open door for the expected flood of political refugees
The rest of the DSA would become the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth, otherwise known as HolyRollia. HolyRollia would have Crawford TX as its capital, from whence Pope George I would dispense divine favours and absolution. HolyRollia could then be left to rot in its smugness and sanctimoniusness.
The armed forces of the DSA would be renamed The Salvation Army. There will naturally be protests from That Other One, but HolyRollia will maintain that fine DSA tradition of completely ignoring facts that it finds inconvenient. The individual soldiers will be called Crusaders and will wear crosses on their body armour. They can then properly perpetuate the fine tradition of murder and pillage of the originals.
Recent news of the US erection has shown that the USA is not one country but two, a sensible, normal, rational one and one consisting of rednecks, Holy Rollers, halfwits and people motivated entirely by greed (people may of course belong in more than one of those categories). The solution is clear - secession. Now the seceding parts of the former USA have the slight problem of there being several thousand miles of raving nutcases and assorted yokels between them. However, it has been done before. Pakistan was once two bits, with a big slab of India in between. This was done at the insistence of Mohammed Ali Jinnah, who wanted no part of an independent India, as desired by the British and Gandhi. It didn't last (East Pakistan is now Bangladesh).
However, the two civilised parts of the former USA have one thing that Pakistan didn't have - a common border with a civilised country to the north. Therefore, I propose to you, the Federal Republic of Yewestan, combining the east and west coasts of the Disunited States of America. Yewestan would conclude treaties with Canada, which would allow east-west communication, to the mutual benefit of both. Yewestan would have dual capitals in New York and Los Angeles, and would have an open door for the expected flood of political refugees
The rest of the DSA would become the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth, otherwise known as HolyRollia. HolyRollia would have Crawford TX as its capital, from whence Pope George I would dispense divine favours and absolution. HolyRollia could then be left to rot in its smugness and sanctimoniusness.
The armed forces of the DSA would be renamed The Salvation Army. There will naturally be protests from That Other One, but HolyRollia will maintain that fine DSA tradition of completely ignoring facts that it finds inconvenient. The individual soldiers will be called Crusaders and will wear crosses on their body armour. They can then properly perpetuate the fine tradition of murder and pillage of the originals.
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