The Groovehandler's Song (or, the ZeroHumGain)

This morning on the train, instead of drawing fancy molecules, I wrote this particular nonsense. It does help to know the original ("If you go in", from Gilbert & Sullivan's "Iolanthe"), but I hope it gives somebody mild amusement (other than myself, that is).

If we take pain, with ZeroGain
We can avoid our hist'ry shady
Be our law
The ancient saw,
"Faint heart ne'er brought big upgradie!"
(Never, never, never,
"Faint heart ne'er brought big upgradie!")

Hi-fi's a journey without end--
With Naimless problems e'er to mend--
Dark the dawn when day is nigh--
Handle your groove and don't say die!

Cable or stand
Mana or And-
Drews may o'ercome that feeling jady
Lovers of PraT
Round earth or flat!
Faint heart ne'er brought big upgradie!
(Never, never, never,
Faint heart ne'er brought big upgradie!)

While the sun shines make your hay--
Where there's a wallet, there's a way--
Beard the Ivor in his lair--
None but the brave deserve the fare!

So, take heart
And make a start--
Though you fear the prospect's shady--
Much you might spend
To gain your end--
"Faint heart ne'er brought big upgradie!"
(Never, never, never,
"Faint heart ne'er brought big upgradie!")

Nothing venture, nothing win--
Arcam, Marantz, Cyrus or Linn --
Wadia ya know, one thing we've found --
It's hi-fi that makes our world go round!
Nothing venture, nothing win--
Blood is thick, but water's thin--
In for a penny, in for a pound--
ZeroGain seeks the perfect sound!

 

tones, your skills are wasted in your day job.

-- Ian

 

Thanks, Ian, but at least it keeps me eating regularly and allows the purchase of the odd (very) CD.

 

Tones, that's exellent sir. Has GrahamN got the ones you wrote for the twilight minutes of GH?

You might have to release an album.

Cheers

 

Yes, he put them in the "In Memoriam; the Unknown Groover" thread below.

I don't know what it says about me, but it's actually not that hard writing these things. I guess it's the bad effect of all those years working in amateur musical theatre, where I've done just about every show in the book. I still regard the songs written in the 1930s - 1940s, much of which came from shows, to be the best popular music ever written, with only the Beatles able to come consistently to the same standard - Gershwin, Kern, Rogers, Porter and the like brought a sophistication to lyrics and melodies that has never been heard again.

 

warning luvvy altert warning luvvy alert

 

Do I detect the voice of experience?

 

well im one of those who dress in black and make sure lights blind the cast , the sound cues are somewere close to were they are in the script,and the sets in the right place for the cast to walk into,otherwise knowen as a theatre technical manager or just plain GOD,after all how were early greek plays lit? with the sun,and who provided the sun?why the gods of course

 

Well, I guess that makes me an angel - I dressed in black and did what my Hippy equivalent told me. It was great fun, but darn hard work (memories of "The Music Man" and 19 scene changes), especially with a full-time day job, and I (regretfully) gave it up when the kids arrived.

 

please accept my humble apoligeys for calling you a luvvy. i didnt realise you were one of us.
ever thought of getting back into it?

 

Love to, but no time any more. Perhaps after retirement (not so very far away).