The Road to Enlightenment - The Teachings of Zen

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by MO!, Dec 1, 2003.

  1. MO!

    MO! MOnkey`ead!

    Jun 20, 2003
    Likes Received:
    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
    of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path
    is narrow. In fact, just **** off and leave me alone.

    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
    belt and a flat tire.

    3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going
    to steal your neighbor's milk, that's the time to do it.

    4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
    getting any.

    5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't
    be promoted.

    6. No one is listening until you fart.

    7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

    8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
    missing a couple of mortgage payments.

    10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
    their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile
    away and you have their shoes.

    11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
    to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
    it was probably worth it.

    14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember

    15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the

    16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

    17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
    comes from bad judgment.

    18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
    and put it back in your pocket.

    19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
    dark side, and it holds the universe together.

    21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one

    22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips
    are moving.

    23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
    need it
    MO!, Dec 1, 2003
  2. MO!

    voodoo OdD

    Jun 20, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Nice one mO :lol: :banana: :ffrc: .
    voodoo, Dec 1, 2003
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