Who's Swiss Tony?

Dunno who's this Swiss Tony ... not on my friends list
Never met too

Your welcome SMEagol! Anytime .. come here to dry your bones :MILD:

 

Built like an alp and ridged like a Toblerone

• Being in a car crash - Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. Pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.
• Washing a car - Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.
• Laying a carpet - Laying a carpet is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous, like me, you might like to try an underlay.
• Putting up a tent - Putting up a tent is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole and slip in to the old bag.
• Going fishing - Of course, As you know, I'm a very keen fisherman myself. You know, I've often thought that going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.
• Being in therapy - And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.
• Making coffee - You have to remember, Paul, that making coffee is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. It has to be hot, it has to be strong, you've got to grind your beans slowly... and at the last moment, add the milk.
• Checking a second hand car - Checking the details of a second-hand car is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, verify her year of origin. She may look like she rolled off the production line in 1990 but who's to say the fellow before you didn't give her a good spraying?
• Hanging wallpaper - Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.
• Buying jewellery - Buying jewellery for a beautiful woman is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman. First you check the size of her ring to make sure it will fit. Then you end up giving her a pearl necklace.

 

Ekk!!! IBr .. could I have a precis?
I need two weeks to translate your poem!

 

These are classic Tony-isms, have a look at youtube for swiss tony, I only pray you don't have a silver quiff!

Why do they call you Swiss? "I'm ribbed like a Toblerone, and rugged like the Alps"

 

Ekk!!! I saw this Toni on youtube! .. Nooo noo .. I absolutely don't look like him!

As you can see below .. I'm much and much better than Swiss Toni! :MILD:

 

Hi Arlequen,

This is Swiss Tony







SCIDB

 

Thanks SCIDB.. he looks funny