Friday funny, a day early :-)

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84). We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.

The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked: 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:







'Got stoned once and fucked a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

 

this one's a bit risque - feel free to delete if you want...

early 90's and I lived in a shared house - there was one guy called kev who had a bit of a drink problem (but was always up for a laugh) had went out for a drink and scored with an older woman (she must have been 50 and he was about 30) - anyway, he brought her back to the house and all that...

she even came back the next evening

but...months later we decided to go for a drink at the local and as we walked in there was a guy playing pool, we got our drinks and headed off to the pool table where kev began playing a game with this guy - as it turns out he was with this very same woman that kev had scored with (she looked a bit of a state too!) and this bloke was obviously a bit embarrassed says to kev -
"aye, you woouldn't want to touch my lass, her twat's this big" (he then held his finger and thumb up, about an inch apart) and kev whilst leaning over the pool table with cue in hand looks up and replied "yeah, I know!"

I just cracked up into laughter while she went red as you like... they left soon afterwards...

 

Quality !