AT, I have to agree with garyi.
These are only observations, not criticisms, so please take them as they're offered. You seem to be looking for reassurance constantly, and you do come across as one of lifes victims.
I'm not sure if depression is the right diagnosis, but if I were you then I would make an appointment with the doctor to discuss what's going on in your life.
I'm going through something similar with my partner at the moment. A life-long hearing disability, the sense of being an outsider and feelings of frustration. Does any of this sound familiar? It's taken 7 years to get to the point where she's acknowledged there's a problem.
We've got some treatment now. The change in the last few weeks has been remarkable. Life is getting better. We're not out of the woods yet, but it's a start.
Please, go get help. If not for yourself then do it for those around you. They're just as affected, believe me. If you love your family then do this for them.