Viola Jokes

Discussion in 'Classical Music' started by Labarum, Jul 31, 2010.

  1. Labarum

    Labarum

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    I just heard this one on Classic FM:

    Q. What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
    A. Generally you take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.

    But my favourite is still:

    Q. What is the difference between a viola and a chain-saw?
    A. If pushed you can use a chain-saw in a string quartet.

    More please . . .
     
    Labarum, Jul 31, 2010
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  2. Labarum

    TonyL Club Krautrock Plinque

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    Q. What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?
    A. The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

    Q. What's the range of a viola?
    A. As far as you can kick it.

    Q. How do you get a violin to sound like a viola?
    A. Sit at the back and don't play.

    Tony.
     
    TonyL, Aug 1, 2010
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  3. Labarum

    Basil

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    A viola playing friend has asked me to respond.

    Q: Why can't many bass players get through the door?
    A:They either can't find the key or don't know when to come in.

    Q: How do you know when the stage is level?
    A: When the bass player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

    Q: What did the bassist do when he was told to turn on his amp?
    A: He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

    Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
    A: A Bass Player.

    Son: "Daddy, I want to grow up and be a bass player."
    Father: "Son, you can't have it both ways. "

    Q: Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
    A: Even a virus has some pride.

    Q: What did the bass player get on his IQ test?
    A: Drool.

    Q: What's the difference between a bass player and a mutual fund?
    A: One matures.

    Q: How do you make a bassist's eyes light up?
    A: Shine a flashlight in his ear.

    Q: Why are there bass solos?
    A: So the audience has something to talk over.

    Labarum, do you play an instrument?


    ;)
     
    Basil, Aug 3, 2010
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  4. Labarum

    Labarum

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    I am an ageing counter-tenor

    "Come, come ye sons of art . . . "
     
    Labarum, Aug 3, 2010
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  5. Labarum

    Labarum

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    I set myself up to be the butt of someone's humour . . . silence . . .

    Come on, forum, you can do better! (or worse :) )
     
    Labarum, Aug 11, 2010
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  6. Labarum

    Nic Robinson

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    Q What's the difference between the viola players on the front desk and those on the back?

    A About a bar.



    Viola player, sick of all the jokes decides to learn a new instrument:
    Viola Player: I would like to buy a clarinet please.
    Shopkeeper: You're a viola player aren't you
    Viola player: How do you know?
    Shopkeeper: Because this is a fish and chip shop.
     
    Nic Robinson, Aug 11, 2010
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  7. Labarum

    Nic Robinson

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    PS My daughter is a cracking viola player (lol)
     
    Nic Robinson, Aug 11, 2010
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  8. Labarum

    Labarum

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    She will know lots, then!
     
    Labarum, Aug 11, 2010
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  9. Labarum

    hifiguy

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    Q: Why are violin jokes so short?
    A: So violists can understand them.
     
    hifiguy, Sep 6, 2010
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  10. Labarum

    Labarum

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    That's a brass section joke!
     
    Labarum, Sep 6, 2010
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  11. Labarum

    narabdela

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    No joke!

     
    narabdela, Sep 7, 2010
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