Viola Jokes

[Labarum]

I just heard this one on Classic FM:

Q. What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A. Generally you take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.

But my favourite is still:

Q. What is the difference between a viola and a chain-saw?
A. If pushed you can use a chain-saw in a string quartet.

More please . . .

 

[TonyL]

Q. What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?
A. The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

Q. What's the range of a viola?
A. As far as you can kick it.

Q. How do you get a violin to sound like a viola?
A. Sit at the back and don't play.

Tony.

 

[Basil]

A viola playing friend has asked me to respond.

Q: Why can't many bass players get through the door?
A:They either can't find the key or don't know when to come in.

Q: How do you know when the stage is level?
A: When the bass player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

Q: What did the bassist do when he was told to turn on his amp?
A: He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A Bass Player.

Son: "Daddy, I want to grow up and be a bass player."
Father: "Son, you can't have it both ways. "

Q: Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
A: Even a virus has some pride.

Q: What did the bass player get on his IQ test?
A: Drool.

Q: What's the difference between a bass player and a mutual fund?
A: One matures.

Q: How do you make a bassist's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in his ear.

Q: Why are there bass solos?
A: So the audience has something to talk over.

Labarum, do you play an instrument?

 

[Labarum]

Labarum, do you play an instrument?

I am an ageing counter-tenor

"Come, come ye sons of art . . . "

 

[Labarum]

I am an ageing counter-tenor

"Come, come ye sons of art . . . "

I set myself up to be the butt of someone's humour . . . silence . . .

Come on, forum, you can do better! (or worse )

 

[Nic Robinson]

Q What's the difference between the viola players on the front desk and those on the back?

A About a bar.



Viola player, sick of all the jokes decides to learn a new instrument:
Viola Player: I would like to buy a clarinet please.
Shopkeeper: You're a viola player aren't you
Viola player: How do you know?
Shopkeeper: Because this is a fish and chip shop.

 

[Nic Robinson]

PS My daughter is a cracking viola player (lol)

 

[Labarum]

PS My daughter is a cracking viola player (lol)

She will know lots, then!

 

[hifiguy]

Q: Why are violin jokes so short?
A: So violists can understand them.

 

[Labarum]

Q: Why are violin jokes so short?
A: So violists can understand them.

That's a brass section joke!

 

[narabdela]

No joke!